Ahhhhh...

Well, made it through my tax appointment, and from the looks of it, this will not be a scary tax bill year.  So thankful for that!  And  thanks for all of you that sent along happy thoughts for me today.  As I was driving there this morning, I had to smile as I thought about my freaked out state of other years.  I was always in high anxiety mode, spent much time in the "powder room" before I left, and often called a friend to chat with and distract me as I fretted and worried the whole 30 minute drive to my accountant's office.  But this time, I had peace. I was calm.  And it felt wonderful. I guess you could say it was a victory! 

I am at a place of trusting about our finances, my education, and our future.  I can't say when it happened exactly, or what led to it.  I do think it's a combination of things. Committing to facing my fears and being open about them as I blog.  The great messages I've heard at church lately.  The deep moments I've experienced recently as I study the Word during my devotional time each morning.  All of those things could be a big part of why I could finally do this without fear.  I think one of the biggest changes in me though, was in admitting it.  I really think there is power in being open, being real, and verbalizing what we are going through.  It seems like speaking it ( or typing it in this case ), moves the issue from the dark to the light.  It's no longer a secret struggle that I fight over and over, all on my own. 

So thanks for coming along this journey with me.  I know I haven't " arrived " .  I know there are many more fears to face and conquer...did I mention my hubby is leaving the country on a mission trip soon?  Last time that happened I had a ton of fear and anxiety.  Not sure how this year will be, I'll keep you posted.  But for today I celebrate ( just treated myself to an adorable spring coat on the way home from my appointment ).  Today I will soak in this peace that I feel.