I saw many fear conquerors around me, and chose to highlight a few of them (and if you haven't been written about yet friends and family...don't worry, your time is a comin...if I see bravery and courage in you, it WILL get posted eventually, you can bet on that ). "Miss T." was great to write about, in her journey against addiction, fear and loneliness. Go T! My friend Amanda was such an inspiration to me in starting this blog, and continues to be as she tackles fear in her daily life. Go Amanda! My daughter Kasey gave me some examples of bravery and courage, and that was fun to highlight. Go Kasey! It was awesome to share our friends the Kerrs, the Andersons, and the Princes with you. They're all on amazing adventures right now, and are such examples of stepping out in faith, and completely trusting God with your future and with your family. Go, Go, and Go! And most recently, I got to share my husband Paul with all of you, and you got to know a little about his past, and what he is up to now. Such a brave guy. Go Paul!
Speaking of Paul, as you may know after reading what I was going through a few posts back...he was gone for almost 2 weeks on a missions trip to Peru. I was terrified about him leaving, and of my being all alone again. Right after I blogged about it, I got some clarity and realized I wasn't actually afraid, I was just believing a whole bunch of lies. So, to fill you in...I did just fine while he was gone! I felt " tucked in" and safe (see post on Tryghed ). No breakdowns, no scary thoughts, no tears...well maybe one time, but tears of missing him and having to say goodbye on the phone - no tears of fear and dread though. He made it home safely and being reunited at the airport was oh so sweet (see picture on right) . I'm so proud of him and of the journey he went on. I'm proud of myself too.So that was a recap of the conquerors I have seen around me, and of how I did while my guy was away. But, I've also seen victory in some other areas that I thought I would catch you up on as well. I think I shared about how our upcoming tax appointment had me losing sleep, but that it went ok. Well, we got the final results, and for the first time in a decade, we are getting a refund, and a nice one at that! What?!? I was absolutely stunned (thankful for energy and education credits too). So, all my worry was for not. Crazy what we put ourselves through isn't it?
Let's see, what else had me shaking in my boots the last few months??? Oh...Paul's back! I was so worried about him/it, and wondered if he would ever recover from his injury, and wondered what was ahead for him with 2 discs almost gone and areas of bone against bone in his spine. Well, he has recovered, almost completely! As you know, he was able to go on his mission trip to the jungle. There, and on the way there he experienced hours and hours of sitting on planes (sitting is the hardest thing for him ), in uncomfortable seats on buses and boats, had to spend a couple of nights sleeping on the concrete floor at the airport in Peru, slept in a hammock most nights while at the village, had to lug heavy bags for miles through the wet soggy jungle, and then spent days doing construction on the the church there. And he came home better than when he left! Isn't that amazing?! I have to give all the credit to God here. So, so many people were praying for Paul, and I was specifically asking for a miracle in the jungle. Looks like all of our prayers were answered. So awesome!
I also had some big exams and presentations (public speaking...yikes!) ahead for me that I was terrified about. I'm happy to report that all went well. I didn't pass out, embarrass myself, fail...none of that. I actually did really well. Hmmm. Again, why do I put myself through all of that worry and fear?? Why do we do that to ourselves???
So, after sharing that, one might think that my problems are over, that I'm uber confident and no longer in need of this journey. Not true...not true. I'm making strides, I'm learning, sharing, growing...but I have not arrived. Tomorrow my story / testimony will be shared at a large conference and I'm sooooo nervous about it. The filming took place months ago, but I'm so scared to see it. From past experience I know I might not like how it turns out / how I looked on video / what I said or forgot to say...but in the end, I'll be happy that I did it when I hear of the lives it touched. Am I over my fear though? No, I'm not. I can't tell you how many visits to the bathroom I've made today! And... recently I found out I get to go up on stage with some other women who's stories were shared during a beautiful song. Can you guess what's playing in my head? "You're going to trip and make a fool of yourself, you will be shaking like a leaf "... that sort of thing. Ugh! Well, just so you know, I wont let it stop me. I'm nervous, scared, fearful...but I'm doing it anyway.
Another recap for us all today... something I shared way back in one of my earlier posts. I'm going to be repeating this little nugget to myself over and over these next few days...
"Nothing is as scary as you make it out to be...nothing as painful as you fear...and things are rarely, if ever, as difficult as you imagined".
I'll be rejoicing and celebrating with my girlfriends when all is said and done. I can do this...I can face my fears...and so can you! Go ~ Go ~ Go!!!
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